A couple of demons,
on Halloween night,
showed up on my doorstep
to give me a fright.
I smiled when I saw them.
I gave them a wink,
and handed them each
a delicious, cold drink.
You might think it’s weird
but I wasn’t afraid.
When life gives me demons
I make demonade.
The post On Halloween Night appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
Chocolate for breakfast.
Chocolate for lunch.
Chocolate for dinner.
Chocolate for brunch.
Chocolate on Saturday,
chocolate on Sunday,
and nothing but chocolate
the whole day on Monday.
On Tuesday and Wednesday
it’s chocolate galore.
On Thursday and Friday
I eat even more.
I know it’s not healthy;
that’s totally clear.
But, still, I go nuts in
November each year.
And there’s not a fruit
or a veggie in sight
at least for a week
after Halloween night.
The post Chocolate for Breakfast appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
My mother drives me everywhere.
She drives me to my school.
She drives me to my football practice
and the swimming pool.
She drives me to piano lessons,
and my English tutor.
She drives me to the mall to get
new games for my computer.
She’d rather that I rode my bike,
or walked, or took the bus.
But if she doesn’t drive me
I just whine and make a fuss.
I’d get around without her but
I’m really much too lazy.
My mother drives me everywhere
and I just drive her crazy.
The post My Mother Drives Me Everywhere appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
I finished my homework.
It took me all night.
I tried to make sure
I got everything right.
I read every chapter
the teacher assigned.
My eyes grew so bleary
I nearly went blind.
I studied each problem
until my eyes burned.
Researched each detail,
leaving no stone unturned.
I finished my reading
and got out my pen
and pulled up a chair
at my desk in the den.
I answered each question.
I checked every one.
I wrote out my essays.
At last I was done.
By eight in the morning
I’d run out of fuel.
I packed up my backpack
and headed to school.
I handed the teacher
my homework, and then
I noticed, embarrassed,
I’d used the wrong pen.
The teacher looked puzzled.
I felt my heart sink.
I’d used my trick pen
with invisible ink.
The post I Finished My Homework appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
I have a cat.
My cat is flat.
He sleeps beneath
the bathroom mat.
He slides around
upon the ground
without the slightest
striding sound.
He only eats
the flattest meats
and thin and wispy
kitty treats.
He once was fat
but now my cat
is totally,
completely flat.
He got so slim,
so flat and trim
the day my Great Dane
sat on him.
The post My Flat Cat appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
Thank you, Thanksgiving.
We’re glad that you’re here.
You ring in this season
of holiday cheer.
You give us a day to
express gratitude
with family and friends and
a whole bunch of food;
with turkey and gravy
and green beans and hams
and cranberry sauce
and potatoes and yams.
Regarding desserts
you are second to none.
So, thank you, Thanksgiving!
You’re festive and fun.
But, mostly, Thanksgiving,
you’re totally cool
because you’re a couple
of days off from school.
The post Thank You, Thanksgiving appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
My iPhone did my homework.
I simply talked to Siri.
I read her all the problems
and she answered every query.
I asked her, “What is five times twelve?”
She answered, “Allentown.”
Her answer seemed suspicious
but I shrugged and wrote it down.
I asked her, “Who’s the President
or leader of Peru?”
She answered, “Forty seven,”
so I wrote that one down too.
I asked her ten more questions,
and she answered every one.
Her answers seemed bizarre
but I was glad to have it done.
It seems that Siri’s not too smart,
or maybe slightly deaf.
I turned my homework in today
and got big, red “F.”
I guess, for homework,
Siri’s not the best to call upon.
I’ll only let Alexa
do my homework from now on.
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I woke this Christmas morning
and, much to my surprise,
a sleeping, snoring Santa Claus
was there before my eyes.
It seems he was exhausted
from staying up all night,
delivering his presents on
a long and tiring flight.
He made it to our fireplace,
before he fell asleep,
but couldn’t take another step
and crumpled in a heap.
And there he slumbered soundly.
He slept the night away,
until I came upon him on
in the hearth on Christmas day.
My puppy started barking.
My sister gave a yell.
But Santa didn’t hear a thing
as far as I could tell.
He didn’t feel me shake him.
He didn’t hear the dog.
So Santa’s at our house this morning,
sleeping like a log.
The post Sleeping Santa appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
I got a new “laptop” for Christmas.
It’s awesome and couldn’t be cuter.
It isn’t a regular laptop.
It isn’t some kind of computer.
This laptop’s not battery-powered.
It’s missing a keyboard and screen.
It doesn’t connect to the wi-fi.
It’s not some device or machine.
And, yet, I’m in love with my laptop.
You might even say that I’m smitten.
I asked for a laptop for Christmas,
so Santa Claus brought me a kitten.
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My father can’t find me.
He says that it’s weird,
I seem to have vanished.
I just disappeared.
My mother can’t see me.
She’s looking around.
She’s calling my name
but I cannot be found.
My brother and sister
both want me to play.
They’re searching the house
but I’ve faded away.
I thought that my family
would all be amused,
but even our dog is
completely confused.
I know it sounds strange
but I’m starting to think
I shouldn’t take baths
in invisible ink.
The post My Father Can’t Find Me appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
Melinda made a snowman,
which she gave a carrot nose.
She placed some rubber boots
on what she figured were his toes.
Melinda gave him charcoal eyes,
and after one last pat,
upon her snowman’s frozen head
she placed her father’s hat.
She thought him nearly finished
and then as an final note,
she took her father’s favorite tie
and draped it ’round his throat.
Melinda was so proud of him,
she rushed upstairs with glee.
She hollered to her mom and dad
to, “hurry, come and see!”
But by the time they came downstairs
Melinda cried and cried.
“Melinda,” mom and dad said,
“snowmen must be made outside.”
The post Melinda Made a Snowman appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
At eight o’clock I ate a clock.
And, just as you’re assuming,
it tasted pretty bad, and it
was really time consuming.
The post I Ate a Clock appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
Our dog’s name is Roomba.
He’s such a great pup.
If food hits our carpet,
he vacuums it up.
He’s constantly sniffing
for food he can “clean.”
Our floors are the tidiest
you’ve ever seen.
There’s practically nothing
this puppy won’t eat.
He’ll munch on the tiniest
morsel of meat.
He’ll suck up spaghetti.
He’ll polish off peas.
He’ll chow down on berries
and cherries and cheese.
He’ll lick up linguine.
He’ll gobble up grapes.
He’ll pig out on pancakes
and waffles and crepes.
The floor in our kitchen
has never been neater.
We’re lucky our puppy
is such a good eater.
Our Roomba’s a marvelous
morsel remover.
He learned our other dogs,
Dyson and Hoover.
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Inside my lunch
to my surprise
a perfect heart-shaped
love note lies.
The outside says,
“Will you be mine?”
and, “Will you be
my valentine?”
I take it out
and wonder who
would want to tell me
“I love you.”
Perhaps a girl
who’s much too shy
to hand it to me
eye to eye.
Or maybe it
was sweetly penned
in private by
a secret friend
who found my lunchbox
sitting by
and slid the note in
on the sly.
Oh, I’d be thrilled
if it were Jo,
the cute one in
the second row.
Or could it be
from Jennifer?
Has she found out
I’m sweet on her?
My mind’s abuzz,
my shoulders tense.
I need no more
of this suspense.
My stomach lurching
in my throat,
I open up
my little note.
Then wham! as if
it were a bomb,
inside it reads,
“I love you – Mom.”
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I’d rather fight a tiger covered head-to-toe in gravy.
I’d rather spend a decade scrubbing toilets in the navy.
I’d rather hug a porcupine. I’d rather wrestle eels.
I’d rather run a marathon with splinters in my heels.
I’d rather sleep on mattresses of razor blades and nails.
I’d rather try to skinny dip with starving killer whales.
I’d rather be tormented by a gang of angry punks.
I’d rather share a bedroom with a family of skunks.
I’d rather dine on Brussels sprouts and spinach for a year.
I’d rather ride a camel race with blisters on my rear.
I’d rather eat a half a ton of liverwurst and lard
than say how much I like you in this Valentine’s Day card.
The post Valentine’s Day Card appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
Chelsea had some chocolate milk
but spilled it on her shirt.
Jackson got his jacket ripped
while rolling in the dirt.
Emily and Isabella
must have had a fight.
Alexander looks as if
he stayed awake all night.
Abigail is absent,
as are Ryan, Ross, and Ruth.
Max is in pajamas,
and Mackenzie lost a tooth.
Brandon broke his glasses.
Sarah’s sweater doesn’t fit.
Jacob has a bloody nose,
and Zoe has a zit.
We should all be crabby,
but we’re smiling anyway.
Our moms and dads are gonna scream—
Today is picture day!
The post Chelsea Had Some Chocolate Milk appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
I stood in line to get some punch.
I wanted some to drink with lunch.
The line was long. The line was slow.
It seemed to take an hour or so.
At last I got up to the front.
The serving lady gave a grunt
and punched me squarely on the nose,
which made me groan. That’s how it goes.
I shook my head. I should have known…
A punchline sure can make you groan.
The post A Real Groaner appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
I broke my mother’s iPhone.
I didn’t mean to do it.
I played a game that made me mad,
and that was why I threw it.
I tried to fix it quickly.
I used a lot of tape
plus glue and gum and rubber bands
to put it back in shape.
I thought I got it working
but, when I turned it on,
the videos refused to play
and all the games were gone.
It couldn’t send an email.
It couldn’t send a text.
The apps were mostly missing
which left me quite perplexed.
There wasn’t much of anything
her phone could do at all.
The only thing that worked was when
she tried to make a call.
I thought she’d need a brand new phone,
which I would have to get her.
But she just smiled and said, “Hey, thanks!
I think I like this better.”
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Yesterday I took a test.
I got a perfect score.
A perfect score is something
that I’ve never had before.
My teacher nearly fainted.
My parents were impressed
to think that I knew every single
answer on the test.
But that’s not how I did it.
No, it was only luck.
I guessed on every answer;
not just ones where I was stuck.
I guess it was my lucky day.
I feel like such a fool.
I should have played the lottery.
Instead I went to school.
The post Yesterday I Took a Test appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.
The Principal is missing.
He’s nowhere to be found.
The teachers tried to page him
and they’ve hunted all around.
He isn’t in the staff room.
He isn’t in the gym,
and all the kids are wondering
just what’s become of him.
We’ve looked in every classroom.
We’ve peeked in every hall.
We even checked the bathrooms
and inspected every stall.
He isn’t in his closet.
He’s not behind his door
He isn’t underneath his desk
or hiding in a drawer.
If you should see our Principal,
please send him back to school,
and tell him we apologize.
We know that we were cruel.
Please tell him that we miss him.
We’re sorry we were mean.
But tell him next St. Patrick’s day
he needs to wear some green.
The post The Principal Is Missing appeared first on Kenn Nesbitt's Poetry4kids.com.