Our teacher’s a hippie,
like from some old movie.
He likes to say “trippy,”
and “far out,” and “groovy!”
He dresses in tie-dye
and bell-bottom pants.
He listens to hi-fi.
“The Twist” is his dance.
He says, “psychedelic!”
He’s truly old-school.
He may be a relic,
but, boy, is he cool!
I purchased a virtual puppy.
He lives in an app on my phone.
He digs in a virtual garden
to bury a virtual bone.
I feed him with virtual dog food.
I’m teaching him virtual tricks,
like giving me virtual handshakes
and fetching his virtual sticks.
He naps on a virtual sofa.
He likes to chase virtual cats.
Whenever he’s good I reward him
with virtual dog treats and pats.
He’ll bring me the virtual paper.
He’ll chew on a virtual shoe.
There’s only one virtual problem.
I clean up his virtual poo.
I’m Random Miranda.
Bananas are good.
Remember the alphabet.
Dinosaurs would.
The things that I tell you,
may seem rather strange,
but that’s just because
here’s a dollar in change.
And next week I’m going to
isn’t this fun?
So never let anyone
hamburger bun.
If maybe you’re wondering
what’s going on,
please let me explain it.
The milk is all gone.
When doing your homework
that man is a spy.
I’m happy to see you.
Just give it a try.
This pencil is purple
and everyone should.
Your dad is a doughnut.
Bananas are good.
This may seem bizarre but
it’s just what I do.
I’m Random Miranda,
so thanks for the shoe.
I took my doggy for a walk.
I thought it would be fun.
The moment that we got outside
he took off at a run.
I gripped the handle of his leash.
It instantly pulled tight.
My dog was strong. He ran so fast
I practically took flight.
He pulled me through the neighborhood.
(My doggy likes to roam.)
I bumped and bounced and banged around
until he ran back home.
So now I’m bruised and battered
like a ratty, tattered rag.
I took my doggy for a walk.
He took me for a drag.
Down on the ocean floor,
Deep in the sea,
Everybody’s dancing.
Ready? ONE, TWO, THREE!
Barracuda boogies
With the octopus and eel.
Sea horse does a square dance
With the salmon and the seal.
Jiggle goes the jellyfish.
Shimmy goes the snake.
Watch the lobster limbo
And the sea snail shake.
Everybody’s dancing in the
deep, deep dark.
But run away! Run away!
Here comes the shark!
Where did everybody go?
He heard the music play.
He must have missed the party.
They must have gone away.
Shark is all alone upon
This underwater shelf.
That’s alright! Shark is happy
Dancing by himself.
Shark begins to shuffle.
Shark begins to spin.
He flutters with his flipper
And he wiggles with his fin.
He doesn’t look so scary.
He wants to party too!
So barracuda joins him
for a bouncy boogaloo.
Jellyfish then joins in.
So do octopus and eel.
Snake returns to shimmy
With the sea horse and the seal.
Everybody’s dancing
From the salmon to the snail.
But run away! Run away!
Here comes killer whale!
Rosy the Dozer
was driving one day
but didn’t see all
of the mud in her way.
So Rosy the Dozer
got stuck in the mud.
Her treads became crusty
and covered with crud.
She tried to get out
but her treads only spun.
“Oh dear,” muttered Rosy,
“This isn’t much fun.”
She let out a moan
and a sad little yelp,
then sat down and waited
for someone to help.
Grumpy the Dump Truck
came rumbling on by,
but said, “I can’t help you.
I’m sure you see why.
“My skill is in hauling
and dumping big loads
of dirt, rocks, and gravel,
for building new roads.”
Mimi the Steamroller
wandered by next.
She looked at the mud
but was plainly perplexed.
She said, “I’m an expert
at making things flat.
But pulling you out?
I can’t help you with that.”
Corky the Forklift
was next on the list.
He said, “I’m afraid
I’ve no way to assist.
“I’d help you to carry
a carton or crate.
But someone will help you.
You just need to wait.”
Then Cody the Tow Truck
saw Rosy was stuck.
He said, “I can help you
get out of that muck.
“That’s just what us tow trucks
are waiting to do.
There’s nobody better
to do this for you.”
So Cody the Tow Truck
helped Rosy get free,
and Rosy cried, “Thank you
for stopping for me.”
Now Rosy the Dozer
is someone who knows
to always be careful
wherever she goes.
She keeps her eyes open.
She watches for muck.
And that was the last time
she ever got stuck.
I overslept. I’m running late.
My mom is making such a fuss.
If I so much as hesitate
I probably will miss the bus.
I grab my socks and underwear
and quickly pull on all my clothes.
I haven’t time to comb my hair
or brush my teeth or blow my nose.
I wolf my breakfast, kiss my mom,
and barrel madly out the door.
I’m feeling anything but calm.
I’ve never been this late before.
I run like crazy down the street.
I check my watch. It’s almost eight.
I wish I’d had some more to eat,
but, man, I simply can’t be late.
I barely make it there in time.
To miss the bus would not be cool.
I wouldn’t mind except that I’m
the guy who drives the kids to school.
I’m Frank, the friendly alien.
From deepest outer space.
My face is fairly friendly.
It’s such a friendly face.
My teeth are sharp and pointed.
My eyes are big and red.
I have such friendly features
upon my friendly head.
My horns are green and shiny.
I have exactly three.
My nose is long and crooked,
the way a nose should be.
My ears are huge and scaly.
My tongue is brown and blue.
The people from my planet
all look friendly like I do.
My claws are shaped like daggers.
My hands are huge and hairy
I’d love to stay and tell you more
but you look much too scary.
I made a new password
That no one could guess.
It’s long and confusing
And truly a mess.
It has random letters
and numbers galore,
with dozens of symbols
and spaces and more.
My password is perfect,
completely secure,
and no one will break it;
of that I am sure.
It’s flawless and foolproof.
I don’t have a doubt.
But, whoops! I forgot it
and now I’m locked out.
It’s after Thanksgiving.
I’m full as can be.
I haven’t got room left
for even a pea.
I probably gobbled
too much at our feast.
I’m straining in pain and
my waistline’s increased.
I’m utterly glutted.
My stomach is stuffed.
My belly is bulging.
My tummy is puffed.
I’m totally bloated.
I’m huffing and puffing.
I guess it’s not smart to eat
nothing but stuffing.
My cat knows karate.
My frog knows kung fu.
My poodle knows judo.
My turtle does too.
They all became black belts
by watching TV,
and Chuck Norris movies,
and films with Bruce Lee.
They liked learning lessons
from Jean-Claude Van Damme,
and acting like action-film star
Jackie Chan.
They practiced their punches,
their blocks, and their kicks
until they were masters
of martial arts tricks.
You’d think they’d be good now
at guarding our house,
but, yesterday morning,
they ran from my mouse.
My mouse is amazing.
I laughed at his prank.
Do you think it’s weird that
my mouse drives a tank?
My brother’s a bother.
My mother and father
say, “Don’t bother him
and he won’t bother you.”
But bugging my brother,
one way or another,
is one of the things that
I most like to do.
I like to annoy him.
I really enjoy him
whenever he’s yelling,
“You’re being a pest!”
My father and mother
say, “Don’t bug your brother!”
But bugging my brother
is what I do best.
It’s really exciting
whenever we’re fighting.
It’s awesome to argue
and never agree.
But I’ll have to quit it.
I hate to admit it,
but maybe the bothersome
brother is me.
I like myself the way I am.
I’m really glad I’m me.
In fact, I’m sure there’s no one else
on earth I’d rather be.
I’d rather not be someone else.
I wouldn’t want to switch,
unless they were more beautiful,
or powerful, or rich.
I only want to be myself.
To change would just be wrong,
except if they were super smart,
or muscular and strong.
Unless they were more talented,
or glamorous, or tall,
or popular, or interesting,
I’d never change at all.
Except if they were famous or
had won the lottery,
I’d like to stay the way I am.
I’m glad to just be me.
My brother just eats candy
and my sister just eats cakes.
The only thing my mother likes
are double-chocolate shakes.
My dad devours danishes
and donuts by the dozen.
My aunt and uncle live on pie
exactly like my cousin.
My grandpa and my grandma
just drink soda pop and punch.
My nephew and my niece
eat cookies every day for lunch.
And me, I’ll dine on any kind
of sugar-covered treat.
My family isn’t healthy, but
we sure are awfully sweet.
Homework, I love you. I think that you’re great.
It’s wonderful fun when you keep me up late.
I think you’re the best when I’m totally stressed,
preparing and cramming all night for a test.
Homework, I love you. What more can I say?
I love to do hundreds of problems each day.
You boggle my mind and you make me go blind,
but still I’m ecstatic that you were assigned.
Homework, I love you. I tell you, it’s true.
There’s nothing more fun or exciting to do.
You’re never a chore, for it’s you I adore.
I wish that our teacher would hand you out more.
Homework, I love you. You thrill me inside.
I’m filled with emotions. I’m fit to be tied.
I cannot complain when you frazzle my brain.
Of course, that’s because I’m completely insane.
My dog’s name is “Cat”
and my cat’s name is “Dog.”
My frog’s name is “Mouse”
and my mouse is called “Frog.”
My bird’s name is “Fish”
and my fish is called “Bird.”
I know that you probably
think that’s absurd.
It’s just a tradition
my family has had.
My dad’s name is “Mom”
and my mom’s name is “Dad.”
My ugly pug’s a snuggly pug.
He likes to snuggle on the rug.
He such a huggy cuddle-bug.
He snuggles all day long.
But though my pug’s a cuddle-bug
who likes to nuzzle up and hug,
my pug is still an ugly pug.
His yucky mug is wrong.
My mirror likes to argue.
He likes to fight and feud.
He often disagrees with me.
He’s regularly rude.
He’s fond of making faces.
He loves to sneer and scowl.
And, if I scream and shout at him,
he’ll holler, hoot, and howl.
I wish I’d never met him.
I wish he’d go away.
I wish I didn’t chance upon him
several times a day.
I think perhaps the next time
he starts to disagree,
I’ll smile at him to see if maybe
if he’ll be nice to me.
One warm, sunny day
on a cold, snowy night,
the inky-black darkness
was sunny and bright.
The evening that morning–
that midnight at noon–
was late in December,
one April in June.
I stood where I sat
as I ran, lying still,
deep down in a valley
on top of a hill.
The people beside me
were nowhere around.
The birds in the sky were
all deep underground.
The fish in the tree
were asleep in their nest,
and watched the sun set
as it rose in the west.
Yes, that’s what I saw
when my eyes were closed tight,
one warm, sunny day
on a cold, snowy night.
