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Random Recipe
If you want to make a muffin, first you need a jar of juice, and a pickle, and a peanut, and a marble, and a moose. Then you add a dozen doorknobs, and a boy with a balloon, plus the sound of summer...
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I Made a Meme this Morning
I made a meme this morning. I posted it online. (I asked my mom’s permission. She said that it was fine.) Then people started sharing it. The next thing that I knew, my meme had spread around the...
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My World Is Turning Downside-Up
My world is turning downside-up. I’m really not top-tip. My life is feeling outside-in. I’ve had a big flop-flip. My brain feels like a mashmish that got stepped on by Kong King. My mind is...
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Today I Have a Toothache
Today I have a toothache. I feel like I could cry. I don’t know how it happened. I cannot tell you why. I look down at my wristwatch and wonder if I’m mental. My watch says it’s tooth-hurty. Is that...
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I’d Like to Sing in Singapore
I’d like to sing in Singapore or run around Iran. I’d leave my den in Denmark, and go pack in Pakistan. I’d fill-up in the Philippines, then take a spin through Spain to buy a new umbrella for the...
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Extreme Dream
Have you ever had that dream where you were sure you were awake, and it seemed so realistic it could not be a mistake? In that dream, you read a poem and you thought that it was fun. Then the poem...
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My Dog Likes to Disco
My dog likes to disco on TikTok for fun. He’d rather start dancing than go for a run. My dog likes to wiggle and jiggle and jump. He bobbles his noggin and wriggles his rump. And when he’s done...
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I Got a New Game for My Brother
I got a new game for my brother. My mom and my dad got upset. They said, “You should never do something that, later, you’ll come to regret.” I nodded and told them, “I’m sorry,” then sat back and...
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Lost and Found
I have to go to Lost and Found. I need to have a look around. I lost my pencil and my pen. I lost my binder once again. I lost my scarf, my coat, my hat, my baseball glove and ball and bat. I lost my...
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Pickle with Cheddar
There’s nothing I like more than pickle with cheddar. You really should try it. There’s nothing that’s better. The pickle is salty. The cheddar is creamy. The combo, together, is utterly dreamy. The...
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Crazy Over Vegetables
Once I ate a carrot and I thought that it was good. Then I ate a green bean ’cause my mother said I should. The green bean was delicious, what a yummy thing to eat. It made me feel adventurous and so...
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Please Don’t Prank Your Parents
When April Fool’s Day comes this year please follow this advice: You shouldn’t prank your parents. Nope. That isn’t very nice. To make it easy, here’s a list of things you shouldn’t do: The bathroom...
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Toucan Can-Can
If a toucan has a tutu she can do the can-can dance. (The can-can is a dance that tutu’d toucans do in France.) When a toucan does the tutu can-can, two can can-can too. So, if you have a tutu too to...
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Homework Stew
I cooked my math book in a broth and stirred it to a steaming froth. I threw in papers—pencils, too— to make a pot of homework stew. I turned the flame up nice and hot and tossed my binder in the pot....
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The Elephant Repairman
If your elephant is broken and she needs a quick repair, call the elephant repairman and he’ll instantly be there. If her trunk can’t play the trumpet or her toes can’t tap a beat, then the elephant...
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Good Morning, Mrs. Hamster
The teacher performed an experiment she probably shouldn’t have tried. Some chemicals flashed and exploded. She ended up frazzled and fried. Her eyebrows were sizzling and smoking. Her clothing was...
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Elaine the Complainer
My name is Elaine and I like to complain. Complaining is all that I do. I moan when it’s hot and I groan when it’s not. I whine when the sky is too blue. I fuss that the food on my plate must be...
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Springy Sidewalk
The people outside on the sidewalk can’t seem to remain on the ground. They’re jumping and hopping and springing, and generally bouncing around. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s such an unusual...
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The Noisy Boys from Boise
The Noisy Boys from Boise are the noisiest of boys. They’re boisterous annoyances. They’re great at making noise. They wake up every morning with a, “COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!” And then they start to BARK!...
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I Hypnotized the Teacher
I hypnotized the teacher in our classroom yesterday. I think it worked! He’s started doing everything I say. I said he was a chicken. He began to crow and cluck. And then he started quacking when I...
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